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March 13th, 2006


11:00 pm
EPISODE 9: THE END.

Jamie was walking down the street by herself, thinking about Dex. A vampire lept out at her, she quickly dispatched it. Suddenly, in a moment of understanding, Jamie realized she couldn't keep her promises and was an intense, lying, serial monogamist. In a fit of madness, she threw herself into a pit of rabid man eating penguins that had suddenly opened up infront of her like some kinda Looney Toons episode.

Upon news of her very odd yet humorous death, Leyland and Joey realized that the female element was the only thing stopping their love for each other. The two married and moved to Switzerland, where they were both killed by a three year old ridding in a Barbie Powerwheels Corvette fitted with seventeen nitrogen tanks. The impact of the child, scaled at 900mph caused an explosion as the sonic boom devestated the coffee house the two lovers sat in, destroying half the village and its population in a matter of seconds.


THE END

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October 15th, 2005


12:08 pm
Well this was going to be deleated, but out of no where we played another round and the game got picked up, so stay tuned.

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April 29th, 2005


11:56 pm - Previously on Jamie the Vampire Slayer --- Episode 8 "Pay Backsah Bitch."
We open up with Jamie workin hard on a bag. Leyland is gauging her development. Slayer speaking of course. Jamie's strength hasn't improved but her agility has become impressive even by slayer standards. Per her request, Tobias has set to work training the goth/punk girl in various martial arts forms as instructed by the Watchers council. And while the Jamster is rocking the socks off Tobias in every sparing match and scenrio, Leyland still pressures Jamie into training. Being Miss please-everyone isn't in Jamie's style, but she decides to let Leyland be all Watchery and buckle down on her punchy kicky stuff. Things get a little conflicted though, when come Friday night, Dex and Jamie have a date.

But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.


"Yes I am sure it would have been a very nice evening Jamie, but ther-"
"Would have been?!"
"Jamie, while things have been quiet of late there is still the matter of that bizarre tower you encountered when... well th-"
"That time you forced us to wear geeky school uniforms which turned everyone into a mindless drone and Muffy McGee into Megatron."
"Yes th-that time--- wait turned Miss McGee into who?"

In the end, Jamie has to contact Dex and cancel the date...
"Oh...Okay It's cool."
"You sure? You sound kinda...I don't know..."
"Well...it's just you cancel alot is all. Kinda sucks. But it's alright I can be nifty understanding-boyfriend-guy which gets me Jamie merit badges."

Jamie is charmed, but alarmed.

Joey notices Jamie's distress after school.
"Look, the guy is all about you. It'll be fine."
"No Jo. It won't be. I watch TV okay? This is what happens when relationships are being tricked into the freaking gas chamber. Speaking of which...hows Annie?"
"I don't know. She turns the other way every time I see her."

Jamie decides to make first contact...and just like every Star Trek episode about First Conacts, it dont go so good.

Jamie finds Annie in the lunch room and sneaks up sliding into the seat infront of her at the table startling the hell out of her. She makes to leave right away.

"Annie wait wait, just give me a second to explain and if it doesn't sit with you I won't bother you anymore scouts honor."

Annie hesitates but sits down. Jamie stutters and tries to explain that she is involved with a wierd gang and that she turned away from that kind of life but that sometimes it catches up to her. But that it shouldn't happen anymore. Annie plays like she buys it. Then promptly leaves. Jamie is distraut, but figures her and her pals can work off their frustrations tonight when the inevitably run into bad stuff and beat the crap out of it.

"I can't go tonight, I am supposed to hang with Annie, I think she wants to talk."

So Joey isn't going, but that could be a good thing because it looks like the Annie issue is covered. Leyland, Tobias and Jamie head out to the hills of Civil City where Jamie came across the tower. On the way, sneaking up a hill to the mount, a Goblin/demon thingy erupts from the bushes ambushing all three. Tobias takes a crack to the head and goes down. Jamie engages like Trinity on crack and removes the little thingy from exsitence. But things take a turn for the worse upon the news:

Leyland: "This looks pretty bad. I'm going to get Tobias back and check out his head."
Tobias: "Yes perhaps that would be a good idea..."
Jamie: "Wait, what? You're going to leave me?"
Leyland: "You should be fine on your own Jamie. You're ready for this."
J: "Maybe but why can't Tobias take himself home. And whats the big deal, it's just a bump on his head?"

AND an argument arises, the first real argument between Jamie and Leyland. Leyland is concerened about Tobias, but Jamie seems to think it's hokey in that Tobias is supposed to be the martial arts guru of the watcher council and a bruise on the head is a sissy lah-lah wound to have to retreat. Ultimatley Jamie tells both of them to screw off if all they had planned on doing was tucking their tails between their legs after the first scrape. Leyland leaves with Tobias, secretly wondering if Jamie is letting Slayer strength go to her head. Tobias tells Leyland to watch over Jamie, that he will wait in the car. Leyland reaches the top of the mount just in time to see that Jamie has snuck down into the contruction zone, whichs is FILLED with about 45 of the demon/goblin thingies. WORSE is the fact that, standing ontop of a cat walk high above the structure is DRUSILLA with a little smile on her sadistic/insane pretty face. But, even WORSE than that, is Leyland spotting Jamie taking aim at Drusilla with her crossbow. Before he can get a harshly whispered: "JAMIE NO!" out of his mouth

*BOING!* The bowstring snaps and Drusilla finds herself with a crossbow bolt sticking out of her shoulder. Jamie stands up from behind her cover and calls out to the freaking shocked Vampire nut.

"HEY DRU! Is that pie you were talking about baking ready yet sweety?"
Dru (shrieking): KILL HER KILL HER!!

And thus, Leyland and Jamie DIED.
Not really.
No they didn't die. They ran. They ran alot.
The car ride out of the combat zone was filled with Jamie's laughter and Leylands scolding.
J: "HEY! She broke into my house, it was time I broke into hers."

Jamie can barely sleep that night, jazzed beyond belief she dotted Dru like a number two pencil striking a bubble on a scan tron (nerd speak for: Shot the hell out of that vampire bitch).

The next day Jamie makes nice with Dex, but is inturupted by Joey.

"Jamie, Annie is missing."

"ah hell..."

That night they decide to all head back up to the mount, this time all together with a battle plan. There are to many Goblin thingies, so Joey and Leyland are going to try and work out a spell that will put the goblin thingies to sleep. Jamie will draw their fire while Tobias searches for Annie.
To make a long story short, they arrive and leap into the fray, while Joey and Leyland do their vodoo.
BAM!! WHAM!
Jamie finds herself surrounded by about 12 of these demon thingies and instead of looking for Annie, Tobias finds himself defending Joey and Leyland while they do the ritual. Jamie is laying the holy smack down for the first few moments, with a series of kicks and spins with upper cut follow ups and taunts that leaves goblins hurt, confused and ...well mostly really hurt. But her advantage starts to slide as more join in the fray and soon she is on the defensive while being attacked by many many many uglies. A scream cries out from the cat walk, and Lo, there is Dru taunting our hero's with Annie. Jamie trie to make her way out of the dog pile, but no luck. Just as it looks like the Slayer might be in real trouble, the sleep spell kicks in in a major way and the Goblin bastards take a nap. Jamie bolts to the cat walk eager as hell to meet up with Dru and lay her low, but suddenly she hears Joey calling out. Jamie turns and sees Joey has Annie. Confused as hell, Jamie looks back up the cat walk. Dru is no where. Making her way quickly back to to Joey she asks the obvious question:

"How the hell did she get down here?"
"She says she got away from Dru! Lets get out of here!"

Instinct making Jamie very alarmed, she shrugs and decides not to question their luck. They run- after Jamie stomps down on like, what, 20 of the sleeping Goblin freaks. The next day Annie is absent from school, but Joey says she is just shook up. Apparently no one else saw her on the cat walk. Jamie keeps quiet about it, but she knows.

Something is up. She is interupted from her thoughts as Dex walks up to her while she sits on the bench at school.

"I've decided I want revenge."
Jamie blinks.
"For...for what?"
"Canceling our date."
"Dex I-"
Jamie is silenced as Dex kisses her. A passionate kiss, Princess Bride Style.

From across the courtyard a skater punk screams:
"Get a room you poster-children-for-Hallmark-cards!"

...HUH?

Credits

Title Screen?Collapse )

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January 11th, 2005


07:35 pm - Previously on Jamie the Vampire Slayer...THE THANKSGIVING EPISODE
Leyland 2.0


We open the episode, Jamie is on the bus (dorky yeah, but the alternative is having daddy make the limo man drive her to school) with her feet kicked up on the seat and head phones on. The bus pulls up and she steps off and sets down her board. She see's Joey.
"Yo."
"Yo."

Just as they are about to begin their morning chat ritual, Jamie notices a scuffle beginning at the mouth of an ally way two blocks away from school. Deciding to check it out she and Joey head to the ally.
Joey: "Damn...they are starting early today."

Jamie rounds the corner and there is a LARGE demon beating the crap out of an insanely hot man in a suit. Jamie kicks up her board catching both of the brawlers attention.
"Got room for a third?"
The demon goes crazy and lunges for the new gal, and is rather stunned by the spin kick to the chest that caused him to dent a garbage dumpster behind him. Now it's on. Jamie and the demon go at it, but she isn't alone. The man in the suit delivers an impressive spinning sweep to the back of thr demons Knee, then smiles and bids Jamie to take the next shot. Jamie smiles back and ducks a swing by the demon delivering a no so graceful and brutal palm strike to the jaw. Jamie smiles and usher the man to take his turn, as the two go back and forth like taking turns and grading each other on their pinata swings, Joey snatches up a Demon tooth knocked out from the fight (it hasn't been mentioned much before, only hinted at- but Joey is studying witchcraft against Leylands wishes, stealing books from his office and what not). The demon has had enough and charges Jamie. Joey sees Jamie's board and kicked it under the charging demon cause the demon to loose his balance. Jamie takes him down and Axe Kicks him in the back of the head.
Cartoon birdies and all.

The man introduces himself as Principle Leyland's Cousin, Tobias. He reminds Jamie that at one point she requested of Leyland, not long after the Ninja Demon incident at her house, that she wanted to train with a martial arts master, and asked if the watchers council would send one. Thus here he is. Jamie reflects on the sheer luck. The man is like Orlando Bloom and James Bond combined and only a few years older. But she contains herself and asks him to meet her at school sometime, explaining thats where Leyland does alot of her training. Getting back to school Jamie runs into Dex who gets some smoochies. Mid day, around lunch time, the three are hanging out with Annie, the girl Joey comforted in the previous episode, approaches Joey and ASKS HIM ON A DATE. Jamie has to retrain herself. But she ends up cutting in "Hey my band Chain is doing a set at the Shrapnel Room tonight if you guys wanna go there?"
She is game. Jamie and Dex let them have their cutesy shy talk. When Joey rejoins Jamie-
"Don't you say a word."
"Hey it all speaks for itself, I don't HAVE to say anything."

Later they visit Leyland in his office. Leyland has been talking to Tobias, getting reaquainted with him and confessing that he has...um, changed alot. They have their little british chit chat when Jamie and Joey walk in. Tobias admits he is impressed with Jamie's fighting skills and Leyland asks about the demon. Tobias and Leyland speculate and theorize, then they turn to Jamie and ask her what she thinks could be going on.

"Joey just totally got asked out on a DATE."
Leyland: *sigh*
"Like, she asked HIM. I mean I know this isn't the Brady Bunch years but thats just damn impressive."
Jamie and Joey leave the office and run into Dex in the hall. As Jamie starts to get all flirty Tobias approaches from Leyland's office and asks Jamie if they could train together sometime after school. Dex no likey. Jamie explains she is doing a set tonight, and that tomorrow is Thanksgiving. As Leyland approaches she invites both of them to come over to her place for dinner on thanksgiving.
"You red coats can celebrate with us Yankees over their wonderful period in our history when we ran into a big rock."
They both decline, citing it might be odd for them to attend that kind of family gathering. But Tobias wants to know about what kind of music Jamie plays. Jamie explains it's like Industrial Goth with a dash of some really bad emo. Turns out Tobias is a Ramones fan amoung other things. Jamie and him begin going down a list of music they love and Tobias admits he owns some original punk albums that impossable to find.
Leyland is beginning to not like this. Dex beats him in that race though.

THAT NIGHT:
Jamie performs at the Shrapnel room. Annie is having a blast with Joey. Tobias is in the crowd and cheering Jamie on. Dex is no where to be seen. Who walks in the door as the first song comes to a close? DEX! No. Not Dex. LEYLAND. PRINCIPLE LEYLAND attends the Chains' show at the Shrapnel Room. Feeling threatened much? Jamie doesn't notice him until she comes off stage from a finished set and approaches her groupie crowd. Her jaw hits the floor when she notices her Watcher is amoung them.

Leyland: "Yes...Um. That was very creative Jamie, I say well done."
Tobias: "That was great Jamie, you tear those strings up."
"Um, Gee thanks, and WOW thanks."
Leyland reeeeeeeeeeeeeaally doesn't like this.
Tobias: I'm going to go get some air, it's pretty tight in here isn't it?"
Leyland: "Indeed! Good idea Tobias. I shall follow shortly."
Leyland likes this.
The group hangs a bit and Jamie is getting a little worried. She asks Joey and Annie if they have seen Dex. Nope. Joey adds to her anxiety by saying "it's really not like him to be late..."
Dex comes bursting in and before Jamie can say anything-
Dex: "Hey I need a phone some guy is getting attacked outside."
Jamie and thr crew rush out (after handing Dex a phone and rushing out so they can "ID" the attacker if they need to and telling Annie to stay put). They find THREE heavy hitter female vamps laying into Tobias. Big fight breaks out as Jamie spring into action. Joey and Leyland, with Tobias's help, keep one of the Vamps busy while jamie dusts the first one hardcore. The second comes at Jamie noticing that the Slayer is in full swing, as does the third. But Vamp #2 learns all to late she just ain't the queen of the street she thought she was. Jamie seizes her by the NECk and lifts her full press, off the ground and slams her into the wall staking her in the process.The third isn't stupid and retreats having one last say before she goes:
"Drusilla won't be pleased Tobias."
All eyes turn to Tobias.
Tobias: "Drusilla?? Drusilla is HERE?! Leyland your watcher journal did not say Drusilla was in Civil City."
Jamie:" You didn't mention that?(to Leyland)"
Leyland: "Well not exactly."
Joey draws all their attention suddenly saying "Um, Jamie..." and points. All eyes turn to the entrance of the Shrapnel Room.
Annie is standing there in SHOCK, having witnessed the whole thing. Jamie asks Leyland to say somethign believable quick, but the stuttering is obviously not what she wanted to hear as she bolts inside and vanishes into the crowd. Jamie FREAKS, remembering what happened when Joker found out Batmans identity. Not that this metaphore means much to Leyland. Dex apologieses for being late and the cops arrive and take statements. The whole group worry about Annie.

Thanksgiving comes. Jamies Dad ditches her for a buisness trip. Jamie is seriously heart broken, as she so want to have some kind of relationship with her dad. But she swallows it down and goes into her room and BLASTS her music. After he dad has left, she calls up everyone she knows to spread the word. Party, her house, TONIGHT. She even calls a girl she vowed never to ever call, not sure why she was doing it. Figuring it might have been some kind of understanding formed during their last "adventure" maybe?
*ring*Ring*
"Hello?"
"Hi...Muffy, it's Jamie..."
"...Hi..."
"...Yeah so...listen...my dad kinda turned into a prick and went on this buisness trip tonight instead of staying for thanksgiving. So I am throwing this party tonight-"
"My dad did the same thing. I'm so mad."
"Yeah what the hell? He spends more time with his luggage."
"Or his stupid fat golfing buddies."
"YEAH."
"Sooo lame."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"So it starts at 7..."
"OKay...see you at 7."
".......um. OKay."
"...Okay."
"Okay."
"Okay."
*click*
Jamie walks away from the phone in a confused stupor.
The party gets kicking. LOADS of people show to the Holt mansion. Jamie gets a phone call, it's Leyland. He tells Jamie that Tobias has crossed paths with Drusilla in the past and she may have a death wish for him. PLus he knows more about these Dragon Pieces that Drusilla seems to be after. Finally he wants Jamie to come by tomorrow afternoon to begin her advanced combat training. She is in the middle of agreeing when she hears smashing and roaring on Leylands end of the line, then the phone goes dead. Jamie has Dex watch her place as she hops into the limo and drives at high speeds to Leylands place (it should be mentioned, Jamie doesn't know how to drive, and this is a limo...).

A Demon stands in the destroyed doorway and Linden Leylands apartment. It charges in an all hell breaks loose. Tobias begins to pull all his martial arts tricks while Leyland gets a great sword off the wall near his weapons chest and a fight breaks out causing serious property damage. The demon takes on Tobias and the sword wielding Watcher at the same time. The two fight it hard, but it's getting the best of them. I sends Tobias in a wall and knocks the sword from Leylands hand as it crashes him down onto the dinning room table. This looks like it could be it.
"Hey you stupid Doink."
The Demon turns.
And gets split right down the middle by a greatsword wielding Slayer. Tobias and Leyland collect themselves, popping things back into place and groaning. Jamie makes sure they are okay then explains that she needs to get back to her party and that they should come with her just in case.
Leyland: Yes of course. How did you get here do fast by the way?
Jamie flinches.
Cut to a damaged Limo parked side ways in the middle of the street with horns blaring and angry drivers screaming. They arrive back at the party and regroup.
Joey hasn't seen Annie and they are all still worried. School start again monday, guess they will find out then. As they sit on the sofa, and Dex is gona to get some more drink...the three have a moment.
Tobias: "Interesting town you have."
Leyland: "Actually it does have it's charm."
Joey: "Let me know when you find it."
Muffy enters, Joey wonders what the hell she is doing here. Jamie moves over to her with a smile.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"I'm glad you could come."
"Yeah well...someone has to be around to snatch up Dex when you screw up."
Jamie gives a smile. Muffy returns it.

Pan back as the pary continues and the group finds a moment reprieve from the crazy, if only for a moment.
But in the shadows not far away, it a scary british vampire chick looking through the windows at them and a sadistic grin on her face.
Credits

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January 8th, 2005


06:20 pm - Previously on Jamie the Vampire Slayer...
Are you a good witch or a bad witch?




So the basketball team is on it's way to state, which is huge for most of Civil City High. Typically Jamie wouldn't give a damn either way, buuuuuuuuut the boy toy just so happens to be on the team meaning she has to curb her anti-school function ways and go watch him get sweaty on the court (oh darn...)
Joey is kind enough to come along with Jamie into enemy territory and it seems like it's going to be one of the bizaree nights when you do something you think you're gonna hate but actually end up liking. But as it turns out, no Jamie pretty much hated it. Why? Well aside from those priceless moments, where Jamie is cheering her brain out for her man that she catches him gawking at Muffy McGee (cheerleader captain of course) as he runs up court. To make matters O so much better, she spot a suspicious person leaving the gymnasium just before the half. With her slayer senses tingling she goes to check it out.
Yeah. It's Drusilla, come to draw the Slayer outside to give her a little private message.
"I got a pie baking for you slayah."
Jamie is at a loss for a snappy retort, totally wierded out and spooked to all hell as Drusilla fades to black Metallica style.
The Next day Jamie mentions it to Joey who himself, gawks a bit that the Big Bad was on their freaking door step. Jamie decides they should go tell Leyland, but as they are approaching the office there is a girl sobbing her eyes out near her locker. Annie, someone Jamie knows from class. Aparently her boyfriend dumped her for one of Muffies Cheerleader cronies, Fifi Hughs (whats with preppy people and the names...). As IF on cue the torture wagon walks on by, Fifi Hughs in the lead. Jamie is about to say something not so nice when she catches their conversation as they walk by...
"...No, no ones heard from him can you believe it?"
"I know! Danny is like, our star player I mean if he is like dead or something we are so gonna loose state."
Jamie heads to Leylands office leaving Joey to continue comforting poor Annie. Her watcher confirms that one of the players on the basket ball team has gone missing and police are on the look out. Jamie's knews isn't much prettier. Leyland is speechless when she tells him about Drusilla.
"My God...are you alright?"
Jamie is touched but explains there was no fist acuffs....what ever that means.
Later that day Dex approaches Jamie and dismissivley thanks her for supporting him and the team, stopping Jamie from giving the traditional kissy huggy thing she likes to do when he is around. Hurt and dumb founded, she watches as Dex walks across the school yard to Muffy McGee and thanks her deeply for the great cheers.
That night on Patrol, Jamie #(&$)*@!&#$_(*@_#($_@*$*(^@&#$^@%$&!$^#!^@$#^%!$@#^$!^%#$^#*(_)()_!(#((&^$%@^#%$(vents her agression and hurt on every poor bastard vamp that crosses her path, dusting at least 3 and scaring the CRAP out of at least 2). One vamp spills the beans that a new friend will be visiting tomorrow night. Poof. Vamp dies.
The next day after school Jamie sees Dex talking to Muffy again, in the VERY friendly way. As Muffy leaves Jamie approaches Dex.
"Well...Okay, we're adults. So we should talk-"
Dex cuts her off "Hey did you here Danny is back? He called the coach and said he will be comign to the game tonight. You'll be there right?"
"uh...yeah."
Dex smiles and leaves.
Jamie resists the urge to damage school property, then goes to Leyland.
"So our new vamp is Danny."
"Are you sure?"
That night...
Yeah, it's Danny alright. Jamie catches him in the Locker room about to have a before game meal on a ditzy girl.
"Wow Danny, you must have pissed someone up there off somethin fierce to be on my list of peoples ass to kick on this, of all nights."
I still cringe when I think about the beat down that followed...
The next day as Jamie arrives at school she witnesses something that nearly melts her freaking head. Joey is following Muffy around like a little puppy, and when Muffy almost steps in dog crap Joey THROWS himself, yes, THROWS HIMSELF, onto the fecal matter to protect Muffy's shoes. Jamie is so stupified she just stares, long enough to watch Dex walk up to Muffy and make out with her right there in the courtyard. All these little security blankets of feeling cool for having an independant life and being the slayer slowly go up in smoke. Jamie, on the verge of tears walks into the school yard and sits down on a bench and stares ahead in total shock. People are walking by and talking about how excited they are about the pep rally during lunch. SINCE WHEN THE #$%& DOES ANYONE GIVE A $%&^ ABOUT PEP RALLIES!? Jamie realizes suddenly...
"Oh my God...of course...it's all supernatural...Oh my GOD. Muffy could be a DEMON."
This thrills her. She rushes to Leylands office...
Jamie spills it all, the wierd events, the manipulations of Muffy and theory she has. Leyland barley pays attention as he is typing on his computer. Jamie comes around the desk. LEYLAND IS CHANGING ALL OF MUFFY'S GRADES TO A's.
Again it should be noted the enourmous self control this slayer has, as no one was murdered in this scene. Surrendering to the fact Leyland is affected she takes some of his books and heads to the library to do research. Sure enough, she has some luck. Compulsion spells. How can they affect so many people all at once? A Coven of witches. CRAP. Jamie closes the book and decides to head to the pep rally and see the magic at work. BAD F'n IDEA.
Jamie arrives just in time for the Cheerleaders to finish their cheer. As Jamie appraoches Muffy spots her and gets on the Mic.
"Everyone, okay we have a special performance by JAMIE HOLT for her EX-BOYFRIEND Dex. So lets give it up for Jamie!"
Jamie's horror and confusion is complete when all eyes turn to her and she suddenly realize she is dressed like BRITNEY SPEARS from Hit Me Baby One More Time. Which by the way, she steps up on stage and against her own freaking will, performs horrably infront of the school. As the song finishes Muffy kisses Dex and promises to see him tonight AFTER the GAME. People leave and Jamie stands like a broken general amoungts the shattered remains of her army of resolve.

CUT TO:
Jamie gothing her self out back at her house, rage burning in her eyes. It's WAR. It's freaking ON now. The books she borrowed confirm that she needs a pom pom from the locker of a cheerleader to break at least part of the spell. Enough to get Leyland and Joey maybe...
CUT TO:
Jamie putting a fist through a solid Sheet Metal locker like it was rice paper and drawing out a Pom Pom.

The spell works, kinda. Leyland is released form the spell while Joey is only partial so. Shocked as hell from what has happened they all go and confront Muffy at her Daddy's mansion. Muffy isn't very happy to see them smash into her room and Leyland is worried Jamie is going to do something she is going to regret. But Muffy seems to be able to hold her own as she called a FREAKING LIGHTING BOLT FROM THE SKY WHICH RIPS THROUGH HER WINDOW AND STIKES JAMIE SQUARE IN THE CHEST SENDING HER THROUGH A WALL. Joey, hesitate but springs to action, but is hurled by an unseen force to the ground. Leyland picks himself off the ground and turns to see if Jamie is alright. Jamie is alread back on her feet.
"You have no idea how long I have wanted you to do something that stupid."
WHAM! BAM!
Buuut no, Muffy takes the hits and magic starts to fly. It seems like a pretty bad fight, until Joey's eye go black and FOOM! The Pom Pom of Muffy's go up in smoke. Muffy snaps out of it, barley remembering anything. Jamie, again, confused pauses and is about to ask her what she remembers when the SIDE OF THE HOUSE IS PULLED OFF by the rest of the coven, who are here to kill Muffy as Fifi wants to be the most popular girl now. The Coven begins to do a cheer and Muffy's face contorts into a hideous visage of pig likeness. Muffy of course, screams in horror. They begin another cheer to blast them all off the face of the earth.
Running. Lots of running followed here. When Jamie was done running, she ran some more.
They arrive at the gymnasium and hope to hide there, but the Coven follows them and all hell breaks loose. A big fight which almost cost Jamie a few vital organs (thanks to falling class, electricity and various curses) ends as Jamie lays the smack down on all of them, getting up close and destroying the pom poms. The Spell on Muffy wears off and Muffy looses it, hitting Fifi while she is down screaming at her. Jamie, holding a hurt arm tilts her head like she is watching the end to a good romance movie.
"It's the little things in life you treasure..."
The next day Leyland recalculates the grades. The Gang learn that some "freaky british woman" gave Muffy the spell book and Pom Poms and simply repeated "Be in me...". Leyland explains Drusilla has hipnotic power. Gooooood to know.

Dex brings flowers to Jamie and apologies alot. ALOT. Jamie soaks it up, but doesn't let him burn.
"It's cool you had a momentary laps. You tasted what it's like to be shallow and petty and you saw that the way of darkness is not *Jamie notices Muffy walking by* OOH QUICK!!!"
Jamie makes out with Dex hard core.
Credits

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January 6th, 2005


03:06 pm
2 New episodes on the way baby!

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July 3rd, 2004


12:47 am - Some of our cast. Thanks Travis! ALL ART WORK COPY RIGHTED BY THE ARTIST! TRAVIS MOORE!





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June 27th, 2004


06:02 pm - Previously on Jamie the Vampire Slayer
THE HALLOWEEN EPISODE


Civil City...
a place of darkness...lurking beneath the naive virgin skin lies a pall of fear...a swelling of demonic energy...and a dirty HO named MUFFY McGEE.
***

After the school uniform incident Civil High decision makers decided maybe they shouldn't be a collection of preppy POSERS and allow their students to wear costumes to school. Joey went as a space marine, Jamie was STORM from the X-men (cause she wanted to wear the kick ass white wig. Figuring that all hell was to break loose tonight the first thing the dynamic duo did was report to principle Leylands office (aka Jamie's Watcher) and find out what was going down for the night. They found Leyland behind his desk, dressed as a cheesy cowboy with a 10 gallon hat on. He informed them that Nothing happens on halloween and that they should enjoy themselves tonight. This set Jamie off however.

"WHATS WRONG WITH YOU!??!?!?!"

Jamie quickly knocked on wood followed by Joey. ((clearly Leyland never actually watched BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER)))

After ASSURING them that everything was fine and to take the night off Jamie and Joey left. Jamie found Dex in the hall at his locker. It had only been a few weeks since the demon ninja incident and it was clear Jamie didn't know how she felt about things. She resigned herself to have a serious talk with Dex as she walked up. But the Ryan Phillpe look a like gave her a smile as she appraoched and she thought...maybe later or something...
So Jamie and Dex begin flirting and good ol pretty boy asks her to the Halloween dance. As Jamie is saying yes Dex produces medival costumes from his locker. Lancelot and Guenivier(sp?)...Awwwww(gag...Jamie would kick my ass if she heard that). Just as they are about to partake in their affirmatory kiss, a super star destroyer opened fire on the school killing everyone.

well. that would have been preferable. But no. The tunes of Christina Agulera's charming number "Dirrrty" begins to blast down the hall. Jamie and Dex turn to see what the fu-

Muffy McGee, dressed like said pop star (wearing nearly nothing, with two of her cronies in two, one holding the boom box). March down the hall and stop right infront of the couple....and begin doing the dance number from the raunchy video.
No. Im not messing with you. They did the freaking dance number. Jamie had fought vampires, killed NINJA DEMONS for the love of god...but horror gripped her. She leaned closer to Dex: "Hold me..."
Muffy finishes her number, unaware that Joey just took like 14 pictures of her with the intention of making every geek in school will have an imaginary night of romance with the most "beautiful girl in school". She hits on Dex, promising to be wearing something even crazier at the dance.

Jamie, acutley aware that she has the power to crush a cinder block in her palm, just smiles as Muffy leaves knowing her boyfriend isn't gonna fall for such base whoring. Dex looks at Jamie. "I kinda...really wanna make out now."
Jamie stares at him..."You know I should be pissed...but I'm not for some reason?"
And they frolic off. Leaving Joey, who decides to go hang out with his role playing geek friends. He finds them in the court yard and they approach him right away*.
*The were the geeks that turn into werewolves. Aparently the geek squad got a new DUNGEON MASTER (wooooooooooo) and they want Joey to come and play with them. Joey declines. He has a dance to go to, Muffy aint gonna be werin much and he still gots some film left...yo. They protest in the name of Dungeons and Dragons. Joey doesn't bite. They get pissed, they march away, Joey shrugs and is about to do the same-

*LEYLANDS VOICE ON THE LOUD SPEAKER* Will Jamie Holt and Joey Murphy please report to the Administrators office.*

Joey: Son-

cut to Jamie in Dex arms, pulling away from his kiss..
Jamie: Of A Bitch!

***

Leyland tells the two that the Watchers Council has informed him that a demon has passed through Civil City and has nested. It has layed eggs and gone unchecked the city could be over run with thousands of demons. Jamie is only a LITTLE pissed that she made plans and now has to cancel them, that something IS in fact going down when she was told other wise, that she has to leave her boyfriend alone at the dance with that SKANK of a cheerlearder. Leyland basically tells them both to get over it. They need to do a ritual. The only problem is that Leyland needs three people for the ritual to work, Joey is hurt and asks why he cant do it. Leyland doesnt think he is up for it. Jamie comes to Joeys defense and the watcher agrees.

Dex didn't take it all that well, he was all Ho Hum about it, but accepted it. That

So while she cold have been at the dance with a hottie, Jamie is going into the freaking sewers to reenact Aliens. And Lo, they did come across the hive. And there were many nasty SLIMEY eggs adorning the walls and floor. And they did sit in the middle and prepare their ritual. And a surge of power from Joey (which hasnt been explained yet) did save the ritual. And the eggs did EXPLODE and the FETISIS did leap from their eggs, dead and slimey. And Jamie did get this on her and she did wail in rage at the utter freaking nastyness of it.

So it was done, and as they are getting ready to leave, a hag female demone thingy looking like a cross between gollum and the goblin from Legend screaming in rage at the sight of her dead nest. Jamie DISMANTLES her in a series of punches and kicks that only a girl denied a night of romance could throw.

Looking down on the demon- "I had a date." The boot comes down into the camera Tyler Durden style. SQUISH.

Figuring that would be the end of it all, the three make it to the surface JUST in time to see a freak standing 7 feet, in armor, with a massive battle axe trashing the place.

Jamie, upon seeing this- "Okay. I would just LIKE TO POINT OUT that SOMEONE-who will go unnamed- Said NOTHING HAPPENED ON HALLOWEEN."

AAaaand she leaps into combat and, using the freaks own axe, kills it. Joey has a funny feeling..something familiar about this half orc. Oh damn. Its a half orc. Its Derriks character from the FREAKING D&D game!

Jamie thinks Joey has lost it, but Leyland thinks they should check it out. They arrive at the geeks gaming spot and head to the basement. There they find the three geeks, all knocked out. One comes to as Jamie rustles him a bit and asks what happened. New DM, the group was pissed abotu Joey ditching them for the dance. They did a spell. Great.

Jamie" OKay so what am I up against?"

"An Amazon, a half-dragon half dark elf..and a chain demon."

Leyland "What the bloody hell kind of games do you people play??"

They arrive at the dance. Jamie tells Joey to find this new whiney stupid DM and destroy the character sheets for these characters, Leyland goes to his office to get something that will help. Jamie scans through crowd and find Dex as Lancleot look damn fine...next to him is Muffy McGee dressed as Lady Gadiva(sp?). Meaning she is wearing a skin colored body suit making her look naked, with her hair covering her breast and strategically placed flowers. And in charges the Amazon before Jamie can throw a table at her.
Woman on a horse with a bow and spear, smashes through the Gym doors screaming "DEATH TO MEN" and takes aim at Dex.

You dont attack a slayers boyfriend. Its just not crickett. It aint in the cards.
The Amazon left her saddle as a half orc axe slams into her havign been thrown from across the room. A fight breaks out, Amazon go down. Dex is all "Oh sweety...is this some kind of show? For the Lancelot Guenivier thing?"
Uuuuuh...YEAH. You like it right?

ROUND TWO!

The other door gets smashed in and the half dragon thingy comes down. Muffy starts screaming about the freaks and how the show is being stolen from her. She gets a blast of nice frosty air as the dragon exhales a breath weapon on her, freezing her and her cronies in place like a big slutty popsicle stick. Joey searches the crowd like crazy to find the Dungeon Master, while Jamie takes the amazon spear and engages the Dragon. Its a short fight, but the dragon gets a tail slap on Jamie the will smart for a day or two. THUMP. Dragon lady drops.

ROUND THREE! FIGHT!

This time the CEILING is smashed through as JOEYS character the chain demon drops in to play. A nasty fight breaks out. Joey spots the DM and goes for him. The whiney bitch calls out for his Demon to protect him, and the demon does, snatching up Joey and holding him aloft.
"YOU ARE MY CREATOR...LIKE MY FATHER...YOU KNOW WHAT I DID TO MY FATHER?"
"You killed him?" Joey offers terrified
"YOU MADE ME KILL MY FATHER!" The demon screams back.

From out of nowhere, Joeys eyes grow dark, and the character sheet lights on fire. The demon drops Joey and freaks. Jamie jumps on its back and breaks its neck, but all that does it piss it off some, so Jamie breaks it again.

DEMON: Stop that.
Jamie: Holy crap that is amazing. Are you guys watching this? *breaks its neck again*
DEMON: GROWL

Joey manages to burn the character sheet up and the demon goes up in a puff of smoke and so do the other characters. Leyland bursts through the door dressed in armor and a sword.
"WHERE IS IT."
Jamie walks up, the Dungeon Master moves to say something to the both of them-
SMACK and goes down like a rubber band.

Jamie" Its cool."

Big finale. Its explained to the dancer goers this was all a big improv halloween production. People are impressed with the principle. Jamie rushed off to the girls locker room, cleaned up and came back in costume.

We pull back as we watch the two love birds, Jamie and Dex slow dance...conitnuous pullback reveals Muffy McGee still frozen in the center of the dance floor...continuous pullback reveals the amazons horse drinking from the punch bowl.

credits


(Stay tuned for pictures!0

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May 30th, 2004


02:40 pm
NEW EPISODE COMING SOON!

STAY TUNED DAMN IT

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April 18th, 2004


04:36 pm - Previously on Jamie the Vampire Slayer
Episode 4: When Humility Comes a Knockin




Chain has a gig at the Shrapnel Room, and being the front gal for the band Jamie is geared up to go. While joey is helping her get ready (pushing her tower amp towards the front door of her daddys mantion) Jamie offers up a suggestion on how Joey can be a good roadie:

"If your really wanting to support the band I can give you a bra to through on stage during our set?"

Joey of course was all for this, so Jamie forks over one of her old black bras. Just as they are getting ready to leave the door bell rings and its Fed Ex with a package for Jamie's neglectful uncaring bastard father- who comes out of his wood paneled study to gawk at his new arrival. Its a bsut of a woman, dating back to the 17th century, a peice he plans on adding to his art gallery up stairs. Jamie tries to pretend she gives a damn in order to get his attention but it goes unnoticed. Just before he leaves he pauses and asks her
"Sweetie...are you in a band?"

"...yeah."

And then he leaves. Joey gives Jamie the "man...that sucks" look but Jamie just walks out. They arrive at the Shrapnel room and play the set, very well actually. And Dex, the guy who looks like Ryan Phillipe and who has been hitting on Jamie is there. Just as they make eye contact while she is singing the last song- and begin to share a smile- Joey throws the Bra....which lands on Jamie's head. She manages not to break in the song but quickly removes it and tosses it aside. Chain gets a serious round of applause and as they break down the set Dex approaches Jamie to spill about how amazing she is- when he is intercepted by the greatest of evils, Muffy McGee- who immediatley starts coming onto him and trying to seduce him. Joey plays his hand by slipping ice down her back and taking off, Muffy falls for it in a screaming fit of rage and bolts after him. Dex and Jamie subtly dote on one another and Dex asks if he can take her home, she of course agrees. Muffy ceases her chase and looks around for Dex...just in time for a black bra to land on her head.


As they get outside Dex begins to pop the whole "will you be my tie and wear my ribbon" thing when out of no where, and I shit you not, a NINJA falls from the freaking roof and throws Dex to the ground, then lunges at a startled and VERY FREAKINGANNOYED SLAYER. A bad ass fight breaks out which results in a dead Ninja. Before his death however, the ninja looks to jamie and very dramatically states "You'll never...stop her....from getting....the heart of the dragon..." and poof, turned into mist. Dex gets up and Jamie plays it off as if it was a Mugger that took her stuff. Dex feels bad but whatever. As they pull up outside Jamie's house Dex begins to pop the question again but his nervousness makes him a bumbling dork. Fed up Jamie throws her hands in the air.
"Gaaaaah!" and she leans over and kisses him. Dex is taken by suprise but submits- because Jamie is all hot and stuff. Anyway.


The next day Jamie reports to Leyland what happened last night, Leyland and Joey gear up into research mode. Mean while Dex finds himself taking crap from Brian White and his stupid friends, knowledgable of Muffy's crush on him.Leyland turns up that the "Ninja" WAS infact a ninja, a demon ninja. Apparently a clan of Ninja sould their souls to become demons to enhance their abilities in feudal japan. Not cool...and yet...cool. That night on Patrol Jamie lays freaking WASTE ( and I mean totally takes apart with out breaking a nail) three vamps with an Axe. A woman emerges from the mist, gaunt and spooky looking with a pleasent pretty english accent- cockney. After comparing Jamie to a pretty flower that has to be killed and promising that she will be happy to put Jamie in her grave she moves into the night leaving a baffled young goth to wonder what the hell that woman was on. She goes to Leyland at once and tells him of the encounter. Leyland sets to work researching the woman after Jamie leaves. He find out who she is rather fast. Her name is in Giles's Watcher Journal:


Drusilla.



Dex meets up with Jamie and Joey at lunch just as Muffy approaches with her cronies. She turns on all the "look I've got a tan and nice boobs" charm and asks Dex what he is doing that night.

"Well Muffy Im taking Jamie out..."

Jamie cuts in.

"Thats me. We'll probably go bolwing or something, make out for like...what do you think like half an hour?"

"Yeah something like that..."

"...Yeah like half an hour or so and play it by ear from there."

Muffy stares in a massive shock and exclaims "You wont get away with this" just as she storms off. JAMIE WINS. FATALITY.

That night Leyland tell Jamie who she is up against. Jamie couldnt give any less of a damn. She has ashed vamp after vamp why should this one be any different?

"Because she has killed a slayer."

"Not this slayer."

"...Not yet."

"Whatever. She wants to talk all psycho and evil she can. But when she wants to throw down she'll be dead so fast her leaving the body experience will be watching me brush her dust out of my hair. Tell the bitch to bring it."

Leyland fears for his slayer, she doesnt seem to accept she is really in danger. All the same more research has turned up that this heart of the dragon is one of many peices. There is the claw of the dragon, the eye of the dragon and so on. Leyland doesnt know how many peices there are but when combined they do something not good. They were hidden ages ago and no one knows where. But Leyland starts working on a theory.

Jamies Date starts with the door ringing. Thinking its Dex she goes to the door. No. ITS FRICKEN MUFFY McGEE. Who barges in and starts yammering about how they should be friends. Jamie explains she has a date with Dex soon and if Muffy would kindly leave-

"Oh DEX is going to be here?"

Just as Jamie begins to loose herself to the primal urges of doom bringing, BRIAN WHITE comes through the freaking door and starts yelling at Muffy. Jamies Dad comes out of the study and asks Jamie to keep it down as he has just started buisness with a client who is inthe next room. Jamie tries to difuse the situation when Dex arrives. Brian gets all huffy Silver Back Guerilla and stuff and begins talking smack and screaming at Muffy. Jamie has had enough. She steps between them thrusting a phone in their face.

"You got five seconds to bail, then Im callin the cops!"

The house goes dark suddenly as the power is killed.


Leyland jumps to his feet having uncovered the final clue. Apparently the Heart of the Dragon was hidden in a 17th century sculpture, a bust of a woman. Leyland shows Joey the picture- Joey freaks and dials Jamie. When the phone picks up he hears glass breaking and screaming on the other line. Leyland and Joey grab the ass kicking gear and bolt to Jamie's place.

Jamie finds herself surrounded by two of these ninja demons in the dark. All hell breaks loose. Muffy screams and runs, Brian follows in suit. Dex starts calling out for Jamie. Jamies, fearful for Dex's life screams "LOOK OUT!" and knocks Dex out cold sending him sprawling over the couch. The ninja close in. Jamie fights for her life, as the two coordinate attacks on her and slowly pound her down. Jamie cant get the upper hand, they are to quick. She is barely able to keep one step ahead of them leaving no time for counter attacks. She weaves and bends jumps and ducks, dodging just about everything they throw at her, until one grabs her and the other lays into her. Jamie breaks the hold, though she is getting bloodied up pretty badly. The front door flies open and in steps a very unhappy Watcher with an Axe. The Ninja demon never knew what killed him. TOAST. Joey screams out to jamie and tosser her an axe as well. Jamie catches it and DECIMATES the other ninja in one stroke. The gang fan out to find survivors. Jamie goes to find Muffy screaming int he kitchen "WHY IS THIS GIRL SUCH A FREAK". Leyland and Joey however find DRUSILLA looming over the unconscious form of Jamies dad in the study with broken bits of Statue all around and the Dragons Heart in her hand. She mews about how he was a bad host for falling asleep after such a generous invite. Joey whips out his cross and tells her to sod off. Dru gets unhappy and hisses, sad that they arent gonna play nice, she takes off. Jamie helps Dex who sees Jamie's bruised and bloody face and freaks. Jamie goes to her dad and throws her arms around him nears total sobbing.

An hour later Jamie is sitting on the examination table thingy in the emergency room. Dex walks in and begins to make some cute comments to cheer her up, but Jamie quiets him and puts her head on his chest. Dex strokes her hair.

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