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March 22nd, 2004

05:09 pm - Previously On Jamie the Vampire Slayer... EPisoDE 3: The Empire
Band practice went a little late, and being the lead guitarist of Zebra's Ate My Money, Jamie could't (or didn't?) get away in time for Patrol. So it was Joey and Mr. Leland waiting an hour or so after their meeting time in a graveyard. Mr. Leland was especially annoyed because he was missing a PTA meeting. As they waited by the fresh grave, a vamp came out of the darkness with not to good intentions.

"Get away from my girlfriend."

And It was fight time. Leland and Joey held there own for about 5 seconds when the ground burts apart below them and out came the vamps girlfriend. Just in time to watch her boyfriend get a stake from an adrenline surged and terrified Joey.
Now she was pissed. Leland and Joey fought the female vamp and took some hard hits, and ended up fleeing. Just in time for Jamie to arrive. And oh was Leland man. Jamie felt awful and there was a good wholesome british leacture about responsibility and blah blah blah.

The next day at school, Jamie was shaken from her mid-day snooze in Pre-Cal by a blood curtling scream in the hall. Rushing out of the class with a few curious students on her tail, she found Muffy McGee standing in the hall way staring at a bulleton board and pulling her hair like a psycho person. Jamie rushed forward to read what the bulleton board read.


The PTA has voted to institute a policy on dress code. SCHOOL UNIFORMS will be issued in the gym after school today. Any student not wearing their uniform after today will be subjectto immediate expulsion.

Prinicple Leland"

Joey came to stand by Jamie and joined her in letting his jaw drop open in horror.

"He is possesed..." He whispered.

"I...I thought I was supposed to prevent the apocalypse..." was all Jamie could reply.

After school they picked up the uniforms, cute school spirited uniforms with skirts, bow ties and jeckets...

Muffy McGee, in a huff, forced her way to the front of the line insiting that if this was to be the new trend SHE would be the one to start it. Grabbing up her uniform she left. While in line for her stormtrooper outfit, Jamie is approached by a boy, Dexter, who promptly starts hitting on her in the Xander kinda way. Jamie doesn't believe it's happening at first but plays along and accepts his invitation to hang out at the Shrapnel Room where Jamie's band usually plays. As Jamie approached Leland for hers she just gave him a look. Leyland looked back undaunted and handed her a uniform. Joey was next...

"Mr. Leland I know you're in there...don't worry...we'll get you out." took the uniform and left.

The next day Jamie arrives to school...in her uniform...which is dyed BLACK. She is dolled up like a Tim Burton Fantasy. Joey too has fiddled with his Uniform placing little skulls inplace of buttons. Muffy McGee ties hers at the mid section and looks like Britany Spears. Dexter approaches Jamie while she is at her locker and begins the good ole flirtation game again...and again Jamie doesnt know where she stands with it so she smiles and nods and plays along. Leland calls Jamie into his office and gives her a new uniform. Jamie protest and speaks mightly about individualism...to no avail, and emperor palpatine once again wins. That night on patrol Jamie sees Muffy McGee's cronies walking late at night with their stupid uniforms on. Just as she is about to call out and make fun of the sheep that femal vamp girlfriend whore from the other night leaps out of the dark to kill the girls. Jamie makes to resuce them...then stares dumb founded as the three girls BEAT THE HOLY HELL OUT OF THE VAMP and continue on their way as if nothing happened. And Jamie continues to stand shocked. Joey mean while is checking himself out in the mirror, and decides like most of the other kids have, that he likes this new uniform and chooses to leave it on...while he sleeps.

THe next day the student body looks exhausted and their uniforms (and I mean ALL OF THEM) are wrinkled. Something is going on. Jamie wears her new uniform hating it. She tells Leland and Joey what she saw last night. Leland shocked into almost disbelief does research. What he finds floors him and Jamie. Apparently through out history a magical cloth was usued to give peasents and slaves unnatural strength and endurance for the purposes of labor. The cloth was created by a priest in ancient Egypt and led to the construction of the pyramids. Jamie goes out on patrol. She finds joey wondering around like a zombie walking towards the rich part of town and follows behind him all ninja like. Joey leads her to the hills where the ENTIRE STUDENT BODY HAS GATHERED AND IS BUILDING A FREAKING TOWER. Yes. A tower. Jamie considers rethinking her strategy, but Lelands instruction was clear:

"You Must get a peice of cloth from the FIRST person to have tried on the uniform."

Jamie rushes back to her house and puts on her uniform, then makes her way back just in time to see Muffy McGee arrive on the scene. Jamie acts like one of the slaves students, get close, then rips the sleeve off Muffy McGees dumb ass uniform.

Muffy whirls on her and screams "GET HER!"
The ENTIRE student body charges. And like the noble hero she is...
Jamie runs like a mutha #*&*$#.

She arrives back at the school in a fit and hands the cloth to Leland.
"Entire...*gasp* Student-"

But she doesn't finish as JOEY knocks down the door agent smith style. Leland runs to his training hall and begins the ritual. Joey's new strengths makes him tuff...but only tuff enough to last 4 seconds. He goes down in a lump. NEXT UP! DEXTER!

Jamie: "Oh COME ON! What the hell is this?"

Dexter goes down. Jamie turns to the door to see who is next, figuring it will probably a relative or her cat or something. Muffy McGee. In a way, Jamie is pleased. Until Muffy lands a punch that nearly send Jamie through a wall. A NASTY fight breaks out and Jamie is almost out gunned. Just as the fight starts to turn in her favor, Joey and Dex come around and stand up...

Just in time for Mr. Leland to finish the ritual. POOF. No more uniforms.

No more uniforms.
Jamie, Dex, Joey, Muffy are all in their underwear.

Jamie looking beaten looks around and notes Dex's physical condition is well.
After a the freak out and confusion Muffy screams "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT" at jamie and flees. The next day the papers read a mass number of streakers and that police are baffled. School uniforms are reconsidered and the empire is driven back. As Jamie and Joey reflect over the incident Jamie turns to Joey with one single question in regards to his choice of underwear...

"Optimus Prime?"


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March 1st, 2004

12:27 am - Previously on Jamie the Vampire Slayer...
Episode 2- Petting Zoo

Jamie still trying to cope with the fact that she is the Chosen One continues her Slayer training with zeal and enthusiasim. Leyland has a few reservations but remains as enthusiastic as a red coat can. Through the coarse of a school day ad snobby little priss, Muffy McGee (the Cordelia Chase of the series...with slightly dumber name...well maybe not slightly...) hands out flyers for a party saterday night and pointedly does NOT hand one to Jamie. Jamie is relieved. Anyway.

Joey, a poor kid with some serious attitude problems, gets written up and sent to ye ole principles office where Mr. Leyland explains as best he can why its not a good idea to smoke in the bathroom. Joey doesnt take to well to being assigned saterday D hall. Jamie bursts in on the meeting for prepatrol training and nearly lets it slip but saves when she sees Joey in the office.

"Alright lets go kill some...uh...time." *steps out with out another word*

Joey leaves shortly after, avenging himself on the staunchy Principle by squirting super glue into Leylands key hole to his office. That night Joey is at his favorite "UNDER 21 NOT ADMITTED" hang out spot when he goes for a smoke in the alley way, only to find himself bum rushed by a very very very very big dog. As he flees screaming like a nancy boy, Jamie and Leyland arrive on the scene doing their rounds for patrol. The "Big Dog" spots two meals instead of one and plots his course for the goth chick and british man. A journey that is quickly brought to a close as he collides with a delicate fist that could crush solid cement. The doggy flees, joining the ranks of people who run away from the slayer. Jamie and Leyland exchange words, most of them go something like
"A werewolf I believe...amazing..."
"There are werewolves? When were you going to tell me this!?"
"I said creatures of the night didn't I?"

All the while Joey listens in. Jamie and Leyland try and play it off but Joey doesn't by the "Um..just a big dog...good thing I had pepper spray" talk. The next school day comes. It starts with a scene in the courtyard as Brian White, Bully number Uno gets chewed out by his girlfriend for not being where he said he would be last night. Hmm. But then if your girl friend was named MUFFY McGEE would you wanna hang out with her? The fight pisses Brian off, so he and his Bully posse decide to pound some geeks until they feel better. Jamie don't play that. Three buff football plays find themselves confronting a petite skirt toting fishnet wearing goth with no fear. Ultimatley they back off but promise to rumble with the geeks after school. Meanwhile Joey visits Leyland and forks out info he has come across on werewolves, saying there is more than one. While Leyland is impressed he continues trying to play it off and tell him to go back to class. So Joey seeks out Jamie who warns him about what he is getting into and tells him he has to keep quiet about it. Joey agrees.

After school Jamie hunts for the geeks to make sure they arent getting smacked up. Leyland notices Jamie hasnt shown for training and set out to look for her. Jamie finds the geeks under the bleachers hiding...the same time the bullies do. A fight is about to start, but is ended as the Bullies try to charge Jamie. They find themselves in a pile with no prior knowledge as to how they had their asses handed to them so fast. Leyland arrives on the scene just as the bullies pull themselves to their feet and prepare for round two. Only they dont and not cause of Jamie. As it has gotten late, the bullies begin to back off with expressions of terror. Jamie looks behind her and finds 3 geeks changing into werewolves.


Everyone runs.

Leyland Jamie and Joey regroup in the bat cave to make a strategy. The next day Jamie visits the houses of the geeks and finds they never came home. Joey and Leyland do some research and prepare tranquilizer darts for the geeks capture. There is no sign of the werewolf geeks. Jamie returns to report the dead end. Leyland, the kooky smart brit that he is, reveals where ever there is strong hormones of food smells, the werewolves will go. Jamie figures it out. Muffy McGees Party. That night the trio arrive on the scene and sure enough all hell breaks loose. Two burst in through the front windows of the house while another rushes some drunk teens in the back yard near the pool. Leyland, always prepared pops off a shot from his tranquilizer rifle at the nasty beast...and downs a student holding a bag of doritos.


Meanwhile Joey and Jamie have their hands full inside. Joey distracts one of the werewolves while Jamie leaps on to ones back and convinces him that it's bed time through a series of high speed fistacuffs. Joey runs for his freaking life and leads his werewolf on a goose chase around the house. The one Leyland missed comes through the back door. Jamie moves to intercept only to be blocked by a shocked Muffy McGee.

"You are like BREAKING things you freaky-"
and she gets tossed aside as Jamie takes a quick run up the side of the wall and spin kicks the werewolf into painsville. Joey runs outside, werewolf on his heels. Leyland sees it and takes another shot...downing another party goer. Are Principles allowed to do this?

"Oh for the love of God."

Jamie beats her puppy into submission and takes to the back yard only to find Joey has cunningly trapped the werewolf in the swimming pool. Doggy paddle dont work with a cleaning net on youru head no matter how angry you are. Leyland take another shot...and hits. Werewolf goes to sleep. Jamie dives in and gets him before he gets too much water in his lungs and some schmuck has to do CPR on Benji. They leave the party as Muffy threatens to call the cops. The next morning naked geeks wake up to Jamie smiling at them through a cage. Things are resolved, visits to the cage three times a month. That night Jamie sits with her dad at the dinner table. While she eats and he reads his newspaper she considers trying to talk to him.

"I'm doing really well in school dad."


"I've got some after school stuff..."

No response. Jamie leaves the kitchen and goes up stairs, closes her door and sinks to the floor holding herself and crying.

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February 29th, 2004

11:04 pm - EPISODE 1 (not in summed up story format...long game).
She's a rich girl from the rich side of town who dresses like a Sex Pistol fan in combat boots and black lipstick. Daddy is to busy hiding in his work to acknowledge the daughter he inherited when his ex-wife got herself killed in a car accident. Jamie finds ways to hide too. Frequently late to class and lead guitarist in a cheesy goth band called Chain, she boasts a pretty solid bad girl rep in her high skool, though no one knows her rich backround. Her Junior year in high school approaches with a series of harsh events. First the obvious, the death of her Mother put her under the care of a Father who doesn't want to responsability or trouble of raising a child. The second is a series of nightmares, all involving girls she has never seen before suffering various brutal deaths through out the ages, the last being the most vivid, a young blonde woman hurling herself into a morphic ball of light and falling to her doom. Not two days into school Jamie begins to realize something is different about her. A harmless game of tag football becomes a demonstration of her unnatural strength as one of the bullies at school eats mud while going for her on the field. After being berated by the gym teacher Jamie is sent to the principles office where she meets for the first time, Mr. Layland. A meeting is schedualed between her and the others involved with the incident. Jamie doesnt show, instead she retreats to her favorite spot, a construction site in the rich part of town. Apparently playing a guitar in a soon to be mansion attracts freaks, as while she plays a man with a seriously screwed up face lunges at her from the darkness and tries to bite her. After getting the unholy bejeezus knocked out of him he decides to make with the bye bye and runs like a little skamp. The next day Jamie is called into the Principles office to be reprimanded by Leyland. Jamie pipes up about being nearly raped or killed the night before and describes the incident in the best way she can...

"Some guy who a plastic suergon played a serious joke on, tried to eat me or something..."

Leyland seems to know about it and (VERY much to Roberts excitment as he has always wanted to spew the prophecy) with draws a book with the word VAMPYRE written on it.
"In every generation a slayer is born..." blah blah. Jamie freaks naturally but Leyland calms her and explanes his role as a watcher, and that the council suspected she would be the next. He reveals to her a secret passage (that she calls his personal bat cave) in his office that was once a bomb shelter from the cold war now converted into a training area. Still reeling from the madness of it all Jamie needs to sit down. They talk and straighten things out, the dreams, the prohecy and so on. Jamie agrees to learn more, if anything else because a grown up, no matter how batty, is taking an interest in her well being and progress.

Nights later they go on their first patrol. The night starts off slow but that changes when the Janitor vamp shows up again. Leyland recognizes the janitor as one of the janitors missing from school. In a brutal fight Jamie takes the underpaid-undead guy down in a few moves, but the joke is on her as FOUR MORE emerge from the darkness. "Good lord." is all Leyland gets out before the real fight begins...which lasts only a few minutes. After taking some hits Jamie dusts all of them except one who makes to flee.

"We'll meet again slayer...and the next time I'll wipe the floor with you."
"Holy crap man...tell me that wasn't a janitor joke."

THe vampire made to run, until a flying wooden object used his heart as a runway. All in all a sucessful test run. Leyland is pleased if not a but bruised and the New Slayer is born.

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